This is IB, you may pick 1 of the following:
1. Good Grades
2. Enough Sleep
3. A Social Life

When an IB Coordinator says "Jump!" an IB freshman asks "How high?"
Two years later the IB Coordinator says "Jump!" and the IB Junior asks "Where's the nearest cliff?"

Coordinator: Hey Guys! There's a Blood Donation session tomorrow, I hope you can make it!
Student: Do we get CAS hours??

If you are in IB and you ever find yourself without any homework to do one evening then one of the following events must be true:
1. You're forgetting something.
2. Something is wrong with your planner.
3. You're about to wake up in a few minutes.

When asked to comment on the IB a student replied: "I'd commit suicide but I don't have the time."

I used to have a life. Then I started cheating on it with IB, and me and life got a divorce.

Student: So I was wondering... Why aren't we allowed to take five HL classes?
IB Coordinator: Because it looks bad for the IB program when students commit suicide.

Teacher is explaining differentiation to the class
SL Maths Student: Are we ever going to use this in real life?
Teacher: Of course.
SL Maths Student: When?
Teacher: In the exam.

In IB we don't believe in miracles... We rely on them!

ToK in a Nutshell:
The Question: How do we know?
The Answer:We don't.

Only in IB can you produce a 10 page commentary on a poem less than 10 words.

The number 45 never looked so high until now...

The good thing about IB is that you know that when you're up at three am working on an essay, you can can pretty much call anyone for help because chances are they're up working on that essay too.

Teacher: "What is the main cause of deforestation?"
Students: *Lift up their homework*

IB Student 1: Did you understand a word of that math lecture?
IB Student 2: No, I was finishing the physics homework instead.
IB Student 3: Oh my god, do you understand the physics unit?!
IB Student 2: No, I was doing my math homework during the lecture.

IB Student: I wish I had a universal remote control…
IB Student: I would stop time …
IB Student: And then …
IB Student: Do homework…

IB Kid 1: Hey, want to hear a joke?
IB Kid 2: Yeah, sure.
IB Kid 1: Our social lives.
(both roll on the floor laughing)

You know you are in IB when you decide to laminate your review sheet to study in the shower.

English Teacher: If there is a fork in a poem what could it be? What could it mean?
Student 1: A Weapon
Student 2: A choice that must be made
Student 3: A fork in a road
Student 4: It could be that there is a stabbing need for something
Teacher: Have you ever thought that it might just be a fork?

The International Baccalaureate: The only educational program owned, run, and sponsored by Satan himself.

You know you're doing IB when you start crying if you lost you TI-83/4 calculator.

When you join IB, you have frequent urges to run away screaming, but the weight of your bookbag does not allow it.

Pre-IB student: I'm thinking about taking 4 Higher Levels next year.
Ignorance is bliss.

IB Biology class:
IB Teacher: Stress can cause infertility.
IB student: Oh, so I guess us IB kids are never giving birth.

Non-IB student: Get a life...
IB student: Are you implying I have the time?

The only way to pass ToK is to prove it does not exist.

IB Student: Can I have a mini-fridge in my room?
Dad: Are you kidding me? The only time I get to see you is during dinner!

IB student 1: Hey, can I borrow your math portfolio?
IB student 2: I'd rather lend you my firstborn child.

Only in IB:
Hey, we should all meet up at the library over winter break!

Do I get creativity hours, for thinking of new IB quotes?

Non-IB student: OMG...I spent my whole weekend doing maths homework. It was horrible.
IB student: You're so lucky. I had to spend my weekend at a family event. I couldn't get any homework done.

When God wanted to show himself to the world, he wrote "Yahwe".
Then came Satan, he wrote "IB"

I had a life full of joy, happiness, love, parties, friends, food, sleep
... and then I woke up and finished HL paper 2

TOK - The day the world became pointless.

IB Freshman: You know, I'm planning of getting 45 points.
IB Senior: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
IB Freshman: What's so funny?

You know you are in IB when you actually laugh at these quotes:)


Za IB Quotes - The Nerd Archive